Tired, Exhausted, Wiped...

Today I am a walking Zombie. We had a rough night last night. It started off really well - Logan went down at 9:30 pm which is wonderful! We started the night routine of reading, bath, feed, swaddle, feed, and bed at 8:50 pm. Typically Logan doesn't go down until after 10 pm - most of the time its 11 pm or so. I want to start trying to get him to go to sleep earlier since most books say babies really need/want to go to sleep in between 7-8:30 pm. My goal for the next 4 weeks is to get him to go to sleep by 8:30 pm.

He is getting a little too big for the small swaddle blanket so Trey swaddled him in the new larger 14-22 pounds swaddle blanket. It fit great at the beginning of the night - it seemed a little big, but really it fit just right a tad on the big side. He couldn't move his arms to get out of the swaddle so that was wonderful! Off to bed he went and I pumped then joined him at 11 pm. Well - my body woke me up every hour through the night (I guess to check on him to make sure he was breathing and the swaddle was in place) I had to get up to pump at 4 am and went back to sleep by 4:45 am. At 5:15 I woke up and looked over at Logan and couldn't see his face! I jumped out of bed and realized he worked his hands so much that the swaddle blanket was over his head! OMG I freaked out and quickly unfastened the Velcro to make sure he was okay. He was thank goodness! But I had to re swaddle him and each time I did he kept working his hands to his face because I couldn't get a good tight close on the back. He finally woke up and wanted a bottle at 5:45 am. (keep in mind - he never wakes up before 8:30 am every day - most days he sleeps until 9 or sometimes 10!) I took that swaddle off him and put the small one back on so he could go back to sleep which he finally did - just in time for my alarm to go off for me to get ready for work. UGH....


So I had a good cry and was still upset when Trey got home at 7:30 am from work. Yes, I had a pity-party all for myself and it felt good. I know, I know. It's irrational. Lets be honest, its not like he was up screaming all night. Or even screaming during the swaddle process. He cried yes, but once he got that bottle he drank it and was fine. So why am I sooooo upset? I can't explain it. I blame it on my "crazy mommy hormones" and my deep desire to get 9-12 hours of good sleep every night like I did pre-baby. Of course I haven't had that good sleep since he's been born, but my body and brain still search for it. When I don't get enough sleep or quality sleep (5-6 hours) I am emotionally effected. Physically yes, I am exhausted too, but I don't handle it well emotionally. It is a mental thing. Totally. I need to change my perspective.

So, here I am . At work. Completely pooped. Trying to keep my eyes open. I could have another pity party for myself but I will refrain for now. :)

My two favorite guys

Logan in his night routine...

It is almost Halloween - I can't believe it! Crazy how November is already here, not to mention my birthday month - and I just looked on my calendar to see my new age and it terrified me! 1 more year until the BIG 30 and I almost fell off my chair. WHOA.

Look at that sweet face - so precious!!

Its still weird to see pictures of us and know he is MINE. I still think I am just babysitting sometimes. Its crazy to think that I have a son :)

He just adores the baby Einstein dvds - he watches them for 20 minutes sometimes! It is also part of our night routine to let him calm down and quietly watch a dvd before bottle and bed.

Sophie taking her place near his feet. She thinks he is her baby :)

Logan playing with his new toy!

We use this A LOT at the house - gripe water to cure hiccups. He gets them several times a day. Just like his mama!

I wanted to remember his favorites and right now they are these two toys

and his sing along tunes

He holds his hands like this all the time. Too cute!

I will leave you with this last photo of what looks like him throwing up a gang sign. Oh Dear.

Logan is straight gangsta.