If Tears Could Build a Stairway...

I'd walk right up to doggie heaven and bring you home again. Oh how my heart hurts. Aches. We lost our precious Bella last night. She has been having a rough few months and definitely few weeks. She had an enlarged heart and her trachea was collapsing both of which are very common in Pomeranian's. Even though she had a tough couple of weeks we never imagined it would lead to her death. She was breathing very hard and had a rattling sound which sounded like fluid in her lungs yesterday. We knew the Vet would just keep her overnight again to monitor her so we decided to see how she felt the next morning since she did eat her dinner the night before and she seemed alert when you called her name. Trey and I took Logan out to dinner with his family one last time before they went back to Texas. We were only gone 2 hours. We came home and she didn't come to greet us when we walked in the house so I went looking for her. I found her in my closet laying down and I called her name and clapped my hands. When she didn't look up or respond I immediately knew something was horribly wrong. I screamed and ran outside to find Trey. He ran in and went in to check on her. At the same time, my mom came in the house and she knelt beside her and couldn't find a heartbeat. I feel sick just typing those words. How did this happen? We left and she was alive - not doing great, but alive and seemingly alert.

It has been one of the hardest days of my life. She was my first baby - my furry child, my Bella. She was almost 9 years old - October was her birthday. She had so much life left to live - but her little body couldn't keep up with all the health problems.


I have been in a haze all day - moping around. Grieving. It hurts so bad. The pain is so intense that I can barely catch my breath. I wanted to post a few pics from her little life. She was loved by many - and will forever be remembered in photographs and by our memories. She was the best dog - such a little joy.

Me and my adorable girl - isn't she photogenic? And gorgeous!

she LOVED her bones/treats!

Pretty girl - I swear she really understood what we were saying to her. She would cock her head side to side when we talked to her.

Love this pic. So glad we have it.

Chilling in her crate

She loved walks and adored her Daddy :)

I always dressed her up for Halloween - what a cute little pumpkin!

This is the last picture we have of our sweet girl. This was taken the day before yesterday. Thank goodness I have this photo. I don't really know why I even took it - I was busy snapping shots of Logan and she was right there so I got a shot of her. Precious memories.

Sweet Bella. Your Mommy, Daddy, Grammy, and Grandaddy miss you more than you will ever know. We loved you so much - thank you for being the little light in our lives and the pitter patter next to our feet.

This New Life

Every day with a new baby is a total adjustment. Your normal routine quickly becomes anything but normal and you shift your life and daily activities to fit this new little person. The lack of sleep is the first thing I noticed (and still notice) but its amazing how little sleep you can function on to take care of a human life. You would think you needed 14+ hours to have the energy but nope. A simple 2-3 will suffice. :)

Trey about to take a nap with Logan

Sweet little angel

Trey's mom with Logan - he loves his Gi Gi!

Trey's sister Michelle with Logan - they are in town visiting and we have enjoyed spending time with the family.

We had our first bath - well sort of. The cord has not fallen out yet (I am working very hard to get that sucker out!) but we did a sponge bath and I don't think logan liked it very much. He really doesn't like to be naked and hates having his diaper or clothes changed. Poor kid. I think he will grow into baths and learn to love them as time goes on!

In his bouncy seat - lovin life!

Trey and I went on our first date night on Friday which was really wonderful. My parents watched Logan and we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner and to see Inception which was amazing! Definitely worth a watch. It was a nice evening out and we are so grateful to have grandparents so close.

We also took Logan to his first restaurant for a late lunch with Trey's family over the weekend. Luckily he slept the whole time! That made mama and daddy very happy :) We went to Outback last night for dinner with them and he did great - except poor thing had a massive pee and it leaked all over his outfit and car seat. The only thing I didn't bring was a change of clothes so he went naked (with only a diaper) back to the table. We had a blanket to cover him and it is the dead of summer - thank goodness! There is no way this boy would freeze in this weather. :)

Getting ready to leave the house is definitely another HUGE adjustment. Its crazy to think that I have to get myself ready - and this little person. That's alotta work! Also trying to make sure we have enough time before we need to be somewhere has been a challenge. I think I have done pretty well - but Trey has been here to help too. One day at a time - whew!

We are getting used to this new life - in some ways it feels like he has been here a month. And then we remember he is only 2 weeks old! Oh my! He fits so perfectly in our life that we forget we've only known him 14 days - wow. Isn't that something? Of course when his birthday is around the corner I will be saying "where did the time go?" :)

1 week old already!

I cannot believe Logan is already a week old - where does that time go?? He is doing beautifully - just as laid back as he can be which has been so nice for Trey and I to get used to having a baby in the house. He is easing us into this new parental role. Thanks precious Son :)

My parents came over and brought dinner a couple of days ago and this is the first picture of my Dad holding/feeding Logan. How sweet is this? Logan loves his Grandaddy already!


We've been up to this...


And a little of this...


But mostly a lot of this...


Yesterday was quite a day. Logan was somewhat a night owl and mama only got 1-2 hours of sleep max. I let Trey sleep as much as I could before I asked for help once I was about to pass out from sheer exhaustion. He got up with him and let me sleep for a few hours - ahhhhh much needed rest! I definitely miss my old friend Sleep. Anyone that knows me is aware of how much I love to sleep - and can sleep. 9-12 hours a night if possible. And more on weekends. So this is a huge shock on my system to only get 2-3 hours here and there. Whew! But I am adjusting pretty well I think.


Also yesterday, Logan managed to soil 3 - yes 3 - changing pads! Luckily I purchased another 2 to bring our total to 4. He peed on himself once, peed out of his diaper as I was fastning the other side, and then pooped a few times on the 3rd pad. Wow. All in one day! It is so funny how when its your child - you don't even notice the pee or poop. Its like it doesn't phase you at all - or at least not yet. :)

My favorite thing so far is his little grunts and coos during feeding. He is too cute and so funny with the noises that he makes. I will try to catch it on video and maybe figure out how to post it on our blog. (with a little help from The Hubby)

We had newborn pics on Tuesday and they went wonderfully! Logan did great - he cried a little in the beginning when he was naked but quickly settled and fell asleep. Can't wait to see the pics!

We have our 1st Doctor appt for him. It is so weird that we have this little person we are fully responsible for and it is our job to make sure he gets to his appointments, etc. Wow. Reality sets in right about now. I filled out the birth certificate info yesterday and it hit me again - he is really here! Life is sweet :)

The little man that stole my heart...

Just look at him and his daddy - too precious! Logan has melted our hearts in a matter of days and we are just so in love with him. Sometimes my heart feels too full like it might burst - our greatest joy :)

cute burp cloths!

Sleeping away...

We LOVE our Nap Nanny! It has been a life saver and Logan just adores it. He sleeps in it every night and for most of his day naps. Plus it is a safe way to contain him if we need to step out of the room for a sec. Genius invention!!

I have been pumping every 3 hours and it has worked very well - I love it that anyone can help feed him and daddy can have bonding time with him too for meal time. It has definitely been awesome if I want to take a nap during his feeding time or a shower. Yay for Medela!!

He is such a good baby so far, he just sleeps and eats (and poops of course) but he is so pleasant and hardly cries. I am sure we will get our fair share of tears in the weeks to come - but wow. I was so nervous about how to handle the crying fits and fussy times but luckily he is easing us into this new life. He is happy in his bouncy seat that Aunt Irene and Uncle Luke got him - he loves it!

He also likes his swing that my dear Wonder Place girls got him - here he is in the sunlight getting rid of any signs of jaundice

And his new Bestie - Mr. Wub-a-nub. This amazing toy attached to the soothie has worked great! He does spit it out - hasn't quite mastered the sucking for a long time, but it sure puts him to sleep and he can place his hands on the horse and hold it in his mouth longer than a normal soothie. These two will be great friends :)

Sweet face!

And the straight jacket photo - haha I love it! He has his little arms crossed and his tongue sticking out. Too stinkin cute

Here are some hospital pics that Rachel took - thanks girl! They turned out amazing.

Logan meets his two fabulous Grandma's! He doesn't even know how blessed he is with his grandparents - such a lucky boy :)

Logan meets Granddaddy - they will have so much fun playing in sandboxes, building things, and tinkering around the house. Granddad will teach him so much and I know they will have a special bond

These are a little out of order - but this is his first time in the car seat going home.

First time seeing his room!

First time in the nap nanny

Words cannot describe how unbelievably blessed we are - we have a healthy baby boy that amazes us each day with his sweet murmurs, cute facial expressions, and precious sighs. He is so perfect and is one laid back little man. He is so loved by all our dear friends and family and we are so happy to have all that support. I am feeling better - healing well and Trey has been the best help. Honestly, he should already win the Best Daddy award - seriously. He has changed more diapers and done so much for Logan and I while I have been trying to heal and figure pumping out. I say it all the time, but I have to say it again. How did I get this lucky? :)

We. Are. In. LOVE!

Logan Holland Gould was born at 9:27 pm on July 20th weighing 8 pounds and 21 inches long! We are so blessed to welcome this tiny life into ours and he is the most precious baby we have ever known. (of course we are a little biast)


He came out with a FULL head of brown hair and one eye open gazing into this new world. He didn't cry a lot but he was fine and healthy when he greeted the world. He started to whimper when they gave him his shot during cleaning - so precious!




minutes old with mama


sweet face - he has chubby little cheeks just like me!




exhausted daddy and logan - isnt this the sweetest thing ever??


Me and my baby boy


I. Am. In. Love - he is too handsome!!


Sweet sign Somerset made for Logan - how cute is that? She needs to start an etsy business for diaper cakes and signs!!


We are soaking in Logan's sweet smell, his precious coos, facial expressions, and watching him sleep, and the boy can SLEEP. At least for now. I am quite sure when we get home he will wake up and we will meet the real Logan. But for now, he is such a laid back and calm baby that sleeps all day and has only cried 3-4 times. He has been a little too easy! We just love him so much and are lucky to be his parents. :) I will post more pics as soon as I can. We are going home tomorrow and I will be snapping his pic as much as possible!